I'd like to know that as well x
by CaptainRaydorxxx
Summary: A little AU ... Sharon is ex-military in my crazy little world ... Sharon and Andy end up explaining things to Brenda that they didn't want to.
1. Chapter 1

"Where was she found?"

Brenda felt more anxious than ever before. The nurse being questioned didn't quite know what to make of the pacing blonde with the huge handbag.

"I'm not entirely sure but from what I could get out of the officers that brought her in, she was found in her car, a BMW, on the interstate just north from here, apparently she was in the drivers seat but she was unbuckled and unconscious with a severe laceration across her the right side of her face".

"Thanks"

Brenda walked away from the young nurse and headed back towards the rest of her team.

"What do we know?"

"Well they found her off Interstate 9 in her car; she was unconscious with a huge ass …"

"Lieutenant really"

"Sorry Chief, she was found injured and unconscious in her car, nice BMW by the way, and was brought straight here"

"Thank ya'll, I'm going to go see her now and see if she remembers anything"

"Do you want me to come with you?"

"No thanks Andy, I'll be back in a minute"

They all watched her walk towards the private room and enter, shutting the door behind her.

"What the hell happened to her?"

"I don't know, but I think we are going to find out"

…..

As she walked in she was shocked. She hadn't really known what to expect but what she saw was bad, very bad.

She was still unconscious, the cut to her face reaching from the corner of her mouth to the forehead. Her hair was matted and straggly, pushed back from her face.

She was covered in hospital blanket so Brenda couldn't see any other injuries.

"Dear lord"

She moved closer and stopped at the end of the bed and picked up the file perched on the sheets.

"What did they do to you" she whispered to herself as she read the list of drugs that had been found in her blood work.

"I'd like to know that as well"

She looked up at the figure, surprised to find her awake.

"How are you feeling?"

"Horrible"

"Well I wouldn't expect you to feel a million dollars, now would I?"

"Sometimes I'm not sure what you want me to feel"

Brenda moved closer and sat on the bed near her feet.

"Can you remember anything?"

"I can remember leaving my office after interviewing Officer Richards, I got to my car and remember putting my briefcase into the trunk but not much from then, there were footsteps and pain on the side of my face"

"That fits in with what we saw on the CCTV, what about after that, you'd been missing for over 72 hours"

"I think at one point I was in a building, I remember lights and a concrete floor but it's all hazy, like someone has thrown a blanket over everything"

"That'll be the drugs in your system, they found all sorts of drugs in your blood work, they really wanted you out"

"Does that surprise you?"

"Not anymore"

The two women sat looking at each other, neither saying a word for the next few minutes.

"How do you really feel?"

"Like I'm going to cry"

"Well at least we know you really are human"

"You are so humorous"

"I know, it's the southern in me"

"I want …"

Brenda leant forward.

"What do you want?"

"Andy"

"Lieutenant Flynn?"

"Yes"

"Well … okay … I guess"

Brenda stood and walked to the door. She leant out the door and waited for the silver haired lieutenant to look her way. When he finally looked over she waved a hand and jerked her head.

"What's up Chief?"

"She wants to talk to you"

"Is she okay?"

"She seems okay, but she doesn't really seem to want to talk about it"

"Is it okay if I have a few minutes with her?"

"Is there something you should be telling me Andy?"

"Not right now Chief, but I will … we will eventually"

With that he turned and walked into the private hospital room and she headed back to the other members of her team.

"Where's he gone now?" Lou grumbled as he looked up from the waiting chair he had plonked himself in when they had arrived.

"She wanted a word with him in private"

She looked down at him as he grumbled to himself.

"What don't I know?"

"Chief, to be fair to them I shouldn't tell you anything but to be truthful, there is more than just a friendship there"

"What … her … and him?"

"I'm afraid so, I asked him myself what the hell did he think he was doing but all I got was it was none of my business what they did"

"Well I think you'll find it is mine and I am going to find out what's going on"

She stormed back up the corridor and went to push the door when she stopped with a hand out. She could hear her crying inside, a sound that sounded so unnatural coming from a woman that scared the entire LAPD. She could hear Andy trying to comfort her. Knowing they wouldn't be able to see open the door, she pushed it open silently straining to hear what was being said.

"It's okay, your okay now"

"It might be fine now, but I can't remember anything, it's like the last 3 days are completely blank"

"What matters now is that you're back with us, with me"

"I didn't know what to say to Brenda, all I could think about was you"

"Please stop crying"

"I'm sorry … It's just … It's all too much at the moment… I just want to go home"

"I know, I'll find your doctor and see if I can persuade him to discharge you"

"Don't be too long"

"I wont I promise"

She back away from the door when she heard Andy get up from the bed. She let the door shut and lent against the wall opposite the trying to make it look like she had just been waiting there.

"I'm just … just going to talk to the doctor treating her"

"Go ahead Lieutenant; I just have a few more questions for her"

"Go easy on her Chief … she seems a little shaken"

"Don't worry, I'll leash myself"

She watched him walk away and pushed the door open, making sure she made her presence known.

"I have a few more …"

"Can I have a minute please?"

Brenda watched as she wiped the tears from her eyes and pulled her hair back trying to avoid the dressing on her face.

"Can you remember how that happened?"

She raised a hand gestured to her own cheek.

"Not really, there are brief flashes of voices but apart from that there is nothing, it's like someone's dug it all out"

"Don't worry about it … that's not what I wanted to ask"

She sat on the edge of the bed again and looked over her.

"What's going on with you and Andy?"

Sharon raised her head sharply and stiffened her jaw.

"Nothing"

"Don't push me Sharon, I know there is something, I just need to know if it is going to affect how we work this investigation"

"Why do you need to know anything?"

"Because I am Andy's friend and I care for his wellbeing as much as I want to help you"

"Andy … Andy and I have been in a relationship since '05 … and I moved in with him in '07"

"Why didn't either of you tell me this?"

"Because you didn't need to know"

"Well as both of your superiors I really should have been told"

"We informed Chief Delk when we moved in together and then informed Chief Pope when he took over"

Brenda stood and paced at the end of the bed.

"So all this time you have two have been laughing at me behind my back … why didn't you tell me?"

"**BECAUSE IT HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU**"

Shocked at the sudden change in volume Brenda spun round with a retort on her lips. She stopped when she saw the tears in Sharon's eyes and the fact she was struggling to catch her breath.

"Sharon breathe"

"Why … couldn't … you… just… leave… it?"

"Forget that for now, just breathe"

"Can't … pain"

Brenda watched as her eyes swung back and her head dropped to the pillow before she started to thrash about on the bed. She rushed to door.

"SOMEONE GET A DOCTOR"

She hurried back into the room and could only watch before nurses, her doctor and Andy rushed back into the room.

"Sharon… Sharon I need you to breathe… can you do that for me?"

They both watched as the nurses checked monitors and attached IV's while the young doctor desperately tried to help Sharon breathe properly while supporting her head.

Finally he motioned for the nurses to stand still.

"Captain Raydor… I need you to breathe for me"

They waited, watching her.

"Captain Raydor, that's an order"

They waited for what felt like a lifetime when suddenly her body relaxed and the monitors attached to her started to beep normally again.

"What the hell was that?"

Andy spoke first as he rushed round the bed so that he could grab hold of her right hand. He paid no attention to the others.

"That was what we call a seizure, as far as I know Captain Raydor isn't an epileptic so I am going to have to run some tests before I can give you an accurate explanation as to what caused it"

"Before… we had a… disagreement"

Andy shot a glare towards the quiet blond.

"We were arguing over… a… over a man and she started to have issues breathing, and then suddenly she … kind of passed out"

"Well that sounds like a panic attack, that could be what caused the seizure, the fact that she couldn't breathe would have meant that her brain suffered a lack of oxygen prompting the seizure"

"How did you get her to … stop?"

"It's a trick I learnt when I was serving in Afghan, it works with wounded soldiers and soldiers suffering from PTSD so I figured it might work on an ex-reg and a cop"

"What do you mean an ex-reg?"

"Captain Raydor served as an intelligence officer in the 80's before retiring and joining the LAPD"

"How do you know this?"

"When they brought her in I had to get her full medical history…"

"Which included her military medical file"

Andy nodded, not quite believing what he was hearing.

"Is she going to be okay?"

"Well she's breathing so we won't have to intubate her, her IV's are still attached and we will monitor her for the next few hours but I think it's safe to say she should be okay, but normally after this sort of seizure people tend to sleep to let their brains recover, so I want her to be left alone for a while".

…..

"We've arrested Sam Richards for kidnapping, DUI, assault and bribery"

"Bribery Chief?"

"Yes Lieutenant, Officer Richards attempted to buy myself and Detective Sanchez off when we arrested him this morning"

"Well at least we have the bastard"

"I still think you should have let me shoot him ma'am"

"As much as I would have like that Julio, I really don't want to give her an excuse to slap another officer involved shooting case on my desk"

"How is she anyway?"

"Well … since our … disagreement … she hasn't had another seizure and she was discharged the day before yesterday"

"So where is Flynn, he should be working his butt off along with the rest of us"

"Lieutenant Flynn is currently at home with his partner after she was discharged from hospital"

"As long as they are both okay"

"Wait … you all knew?"

"Chief, do you really think Flynn could keep a secret like that from us, we are detectives after all"

"So I was the only one who didn't know"

"Chief to be fair, they didn't tell you because they knew you would react like this"

She stood from where she had perched herself on Buzz's desk and looked at her team. They all sat there looking at her innocently, not saying anything.

"I give up, just do what you want"

…..

"How are you feeling?"

Andy sank down onto the couch next to Sharon as she slowly munched her way through a granola bar.

"Sore, but otherwise I'm not too bad"

"What about your face, how's the scar healing?"

"Well according to Doctor Sheridan, but it is going to be one hell of a scar"

"I think it will make you look … distinguished"

"I think … you're full of crap"

He laughed and pushed her over so that she was lying down on the sofa and he was leaning over her. He ran a finger down the scar marring her face. It was still pink from where the stitches had been taken out a few days before but it was healing.

"It does suit you though"

"Really … The scarred lady"

"Well … it just helps make you slightly scarier"

"That's nice to know"

He leant down and placed a kiss on her forehead before he laid himself next to her.

"Just think, you really can be Darth Raydor now, all you need is the helmet"


	2. Chapter 2

Weeks had passed and things had improved.

Everyone had settled back into their job's including Sharon who had been cleared by the resident psychiatrist. They could all see how the last few weeks had affected her. When she visited Major Crimes she no longer had some of the swagger she used to have. They could still hear her heels clicking as she strolled into the Murder Room but she no longer carried herself the same.

She tended to stick to reviewing files in her office and sending her lackeys out in the field. They could all see how her hands shook when she had to deal with certain officers.

"Andy you need to do something"

"What?"

"I don't know, just something, it's not right seeing her like this"

Provenza had finally had enough of her quiet hellos, and no longer receiving death glares every time they passed each other in the corridors.

"I've tried talking to her"

"Well try harder"

"She was fine to start with, but she over heard someone saying something about her scar and it really knocked her back"

"Since when has she been so self conscious?"

"She never used to be, but it's been difficult for her"

"Well fix it, I'm tired of her meekness, it disturbs me"

"I'm sure she doesn't mean to offend you, you old fart"

Andy stood and brushed himself down, grabbing his jacket as he stepped away from his desk.

"I'm going to go take her to lunch, don't touch my stuff"

"Would I ever?"

…

He still enjoyed the looks he received when he walked through FID. They had been open in their relationship since the hospital, knowing Louie wouldn't be able to keep it a secret for much longer.

He nodded at the young detective sat outside her office.

"She in?"

"Yeah"

He rapped his knuckles on the wooden door lightly before he pushed it open.

"Sharon"

He was surprised to see her sat on the couch at the end of the room.

"Are you okay?"

She shook her head, bringing a hand up to wipe away the tears that trickled down her cheek.

"What happened?"

"Nothing new"

He sat himself next to her and forced himself to relax as she curled herself into him.

"Talk to me, who was it this time?"

"Do you remember that detective we both worked with in Narcotics in the early 90's?"

"Who, Roxwell?"

"Yes, well it turns out he has been accepting bribes from several prominent Mob leaders for the past 20 years"

"Always knew he was a slimy bastard"

"Yes well, this time he took a young lieutenant with him, obviously in the hope of gaining his trust but it ended with him the shooting the lieutenant after the deal went bad"

"What an arse"

"Yes well, when Pope found out he called me up to his office to start a formal investigation into his career"

"That can't have been fun"

"No it wasn't, I had to interview him today"

"Why didn't you call me, I would have sat in with you"

"I know but I kind of felt like I had to be able to do this by myself"

"So how did it go?"

"Dreadful, he denied everything like you would imagine but then he decided to start insulting me"

"WHAT?"

"I knew you would react like this"

"Well what do you expect, just to be okay with some slimy arsehole insult my girl"

"Your girl am I?"

"Yes and I am seriously tempted to shoot him in the head"

"That would be lovely but pointless; he is already in lock up"

"What did he say?"

"Just the usual; that I am a cold hearted bitch, a back stabber, that I slept my way to where I am, how it was no wonder Jackson left me, and that no one would ever look twice at me again looking the way I do now"

"I'm going to kill him"

"No, you're better than that"

"Well I hope you know that I enjoy looking at you"

"I know you do"

"I want you to remember that if you ever need me to shoot someone for you, then all you have to do is ask"

"I know"

She rested her head on his shoulder and wrapped her arms around her waist. He looked down at her, the scar just visible from where he was sitting. He placed a kiss on her hair and drew her closer to him.

"Something I have been meaning to ask for a while now, were you ever going to tell me that you served in the Army"

"Maybe, eventually"

"It is something I would have liked to have known"

"It was a long time ago, between retiring from the Army and separating from Jackson, I really don't have many fond memories of those years"

"You retired?"

"I have always had a knack for climbing for the career ladder"

"Tell me about it, I still can't believe they chose you over me for that sergeant's position in Robbery before you transferred"

"Just because I was better at paperwork than you"

"Trust me that was never something I was jealous off"

She smiled, wiping away the last of the tears. She sat up against him and rested her head against his.

"I enlisted in the early 80's, I had always wanted to serve as child, I mean what good little catholic girl doesn't want to be a soldier"

"I wish I had know you properly back then, not just as occasional partners"

"So do I, anyway, when I enlisted women were primarily training as medics and assistants so I applied for a training position as an Intelligence Officer"

"What made you retire?"

"Just before I retired I made Captain, the youngest ever female Captain in the Intelligence Corp, and I was being fast-tracked to take over from the current Lieutenant Colonel who was retiring at the time"

She sighed and sank closer to him.

"I had taken some leave a few weeks after I was promoted to see my parents and Jackson, when I got back I found out I was pregnant"

"I thought you had only 2 kids"

"I do, when I found out I informed my superior who then told me that they couldn't have a pregnant Captain as a figure head"

"You have got to be kidding me"

"Andy you have to remember that this was nearly 30 years ago, pregnant women were expected to be at home, well catholic ones anyway"

"So what happened?"

"I retired, I served out my notice and took my captains retirement, I went home to have the baby only to lose it a few weeks later, they offered my position back but I couldn't go back so I joined the LAPD"

"Sharon, why didn't you tell me?"

"The only other person who knows is Jackson and I'm not even sure he remembers it, he started drinking and gambling after that, I just couldn't take it anymore so I asked him to leave and we separated"

"Do you want me to talk to Pope and take you home?"

"Why, just so I can sit and cry there, no I think I will head up to Major Crimes with you and help you fill out your service review"

"What service review?"

"I swear you wouldn't get anything done if it wasn't for me, the review I put on your desk last week which needs to be filled out and added to your jacket"

"There is so much paperwork on my desk to be done that you are more than welcome to come and help"

"Well let's go then"

They both stood and straightened out their clothes. He wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled her towards the door.

"Do you want to know what I think?"

"What?"

They ignored the looks they were getting and walked through the LAPD corridors, oblivious to everything but themselves.

"I would do anything to see you in a military uniform"

"I think I still have it in a box somewhere, my combats and my dress uniform"

"Later, when we're home, I'll put my uniform on if you put yours on"

They were both laughing as they walked into the Murder Room.

"What are you two laughing at?"

"Nothing that concerns you"

"Nice to see you to Captain"

She smiled at the sour lieutenant, their relationship having improved greatly in the last few weeks. She sat on Andy's chair and watched as he grabbed a spare from one of the other desks. He swung down next to her and started searching through the piles of paperwork that he had "accidently" let build up.

"Here we go"

The next few hours were spent with the two of them giggling over questions and answers that none of the rest of the Major Crimes team could hear. Provenza lent back in his chair and looked over at his partner. Currently Sharon had her head on Andy's right shoulder and he had one arm around her back, the other resting on the table next to the finally finished paperwork.

"Why don't you two go home, your sickly giggly cuddles are making me feel ill"

"Because neither of our shifts end for a good couple of hours and we wouldn't want you to be lonely seeing as Julio and Mike have gone out on patrol and Buzz left hours ago"

He huffed and swung his chair round so that he was facing the board.

"Wouldn't be lonely, just don't want to see you two sucking face"

The pair laughed as he grumbled to himself, fiddling with his bobble head.

Sharon pushed away the paperwork and stood, dragging him behind her.

"I'm going to go get my stuff, and then we're leaving"

She could feel his eyes on her as she strolled out of the nearly abandoned room.

"What did she say earlier then?"

"What?"

"When you went to take her for lunch, I know for a fact that neither of you left the building, I checked with Sian at reception"

"You have got to get a life Lou"

"That's irrelevant, what happened?"

"We ended up just sitting in her office"

"Well that can't have been much fun"

"Turned out Roxwell had been taking bribes for years, he killed a cop that wanted to turn him in"

"I have been saying for years he was a crooked bastard"

"Well she had to interview him because Delk wanted a full investigation done"

The older lieutenant huffed and leant further back in his seat. He could only imagine how much fun that interview had to have been, he could still remember what Samuel Roxwell had been like back then let alone now-a-days.

"What did he say?"

"She didn't tell me much, just that there seemed to be a lot in there about Jackson and her scar"

"You can't ever tell her I told you this, but the scar suits her, she just needs to get some of her Darth personality back"

Andy laughed; it was funny how caring and considerate the grouchy lieutenant could be when he wanted to.

"I think she knows that, it's just going to take her sometime"

"Well tell her to hurry up, I used to use her name to hurry things up because no one wanted her snooping through their files and it doesn't work anymore"

"You are soooo…"

"So what?"

They both turned as she walked back, bag in hand, wearing his favourite her of her trench coats. He grabbed his jacket, the chair spinning off from where it had been resting and walked over to her.

"Nothing, you ready to go?"

"Yes, I've decided my officer reviews can wait till tomorrow"

"Good, let's go then"

Provenza followed the couple's movements as they headed for the door, his arm coming round her shoulders, hers around his waist. As much as he wanted to be able to find fault in their relationship he couldn't, they just worked.

Later that evening Andy walked into his lounge to find Sharon leaning against his balcony, the doors flung open behind her. He tiptoed behind her, his arms wrapping around her waist, his chin resting on her hair.

It was one of the things he loved about her.

Her hair.

You hear stories of people's hair going gray or falling out after stressful or distressing situations but hers had stay the same.

It fell down her back in graceful waves, the red and gold highlights glinting thought the slightly darker brown.

He loved it when she wore it down, when he could admire the way it rippled when she moved but he loved it more when she made an effort with it, a simple twist when tidying, a strong ponytail when they went running together, a French plait when they went out for dinner, but he would never tell her that he loved it when she put it up just so that he could be the one to let it all out.

"Provenza's worried about you, we are all worried about you"

He felt her nod her head.

"I know, I can see it when they look at me, as if they are trying to guess when I'm going to break"

"Too bad for them you already have done"

It had happened a few days after she had been released. Her doctor had told him that it might take her a while before she felt normal again, before she wanted to do anything again. He had said that she might be emotional; head trauma is a tricky thing he had said.

She had been wondering around the apartment for about an hour before she snapped. She had come across a compliant report for the officer who had assaulted and kidnapped her. She had picked it up and walked out of the study. He had followed her eventually, thinking she was just going to bin it, shocked into movement when he heard crashing.

He had run into the lounge to find her throwing anything and everything she could possibly get her hands on. Her favourite mug lay against the wall in tiny pieces, two of their holiday pictures were hanging out their frames, she had over turned the small couch she had brought to the apartment with her, and the lamps were sprawled on the floor.

It had taken him only minutes to get her to calm down; she had sunk to the floor in tears, her arms wrapped around herself. He had picked her up off the floor and supported her through to their bedroom, laying her on the bed and covering her with a blanket before heading back to the lounge to clean everything up.

She had slept for the rest of the day, feeling marginally better when she woke. She had started to apologise but he had stopped her, just saying that they needed to move on.

"I'm sure Provenza would have loved to have seen me break everything in our home"

"He would probably have filmed it just so that he could watch it again"

They both laughed, comfortable on the balcony, watching the world go by.


End file.
